I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
