belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
