I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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