Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
