I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
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