i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
