I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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