I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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