I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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