..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
