I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
