I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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