How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
