i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
