Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
