I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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