I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.