Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE