Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i already hear my dad disowning me

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(404): View more from Georgia

I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high

(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, I don't like babies at all

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.

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(404): View more from Georgia

she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(605): View more from South Dakota

and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.

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(619): View more from California

definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius

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(904): View more from Florida

I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...

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(801): View more from Utah

You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?

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