that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
