At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
