Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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