I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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