Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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