Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We smell like vodka and hangover
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