i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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