'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
