Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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