they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
