God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
