I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have fence marks all over my body
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
