He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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