i think my mom watched the whole time
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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