BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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