Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
