Quick, to the slutcave!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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