Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
