I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
