batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize