so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
