Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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