i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The struggles of a small town man whore
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
