I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
