just come out here and I will go home with you...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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