p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I looked at my own cervix.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
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When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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