there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize