I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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