i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
