she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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