I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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