i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Randomize
