I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
