Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
