Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up