your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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