Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
