batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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