They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Shame - the story of my life.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
