As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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