Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
