Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Randomize
