I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
