Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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