HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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