What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My cat gives me a boner
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
