Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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