Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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