Just cropdusted the office
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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