I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you win again, gameday.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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